Attending a Bengali Wedding in Kolkata, India
We were astonished and honored to be invited to attend two days of a Bengali wedding while we were in Kolkata. (This was part of our incredible host’s mission to welcome us into the local culture.)
There was, of course, a lot of it that we didn’t understand—either because we genuinely weren’t familiar with the customs, or because it was so different than our cultural backgrounds that we couldn’t quite comprehend it. (For example, when our host mentioned arranged marriages, we asked whether this was one. “Oh, definitely not. They’ve known each other for three weeks, so it’s a love marriage,” his friend replied quite seriously.)
With that being the case, I don’t want to pretend to dig into cultural traditions that aren’t our own, and that we don’t fully comprehend. So instead of trying to explain everything we saw, I’d like do something a little different today by inviting you to come along and view this Bengali wedding in Kolkata through our eyes via our pictures (and a video). Enjoy the wonder, the beauty, and the magic of this beautiful event with us.
Before the wedding, I had been fretting about what to wear. (I have no context for knowing what’s appropriate for a Bengali wedding!) Was there any color I should avoid? Should my dress be of any particular style? Is there anything I might accidentally wear that would offend her by looking like I was trying to upstage her, similar to how it would come across if a woman came to an American wedding in a white lace dress?
“Stop worrying,” our host told me. “The bride is always the most beautiful woman at any wedding. It’s like magic. She won’t think you’re trying to be prettier than her, no matter what you wear, because that’s not possible."
It was true—both because she had the beautiful bridal glow he had mentioned, and because there was no way anyone could compete with her even if they tried. The intricate embroidery of her dress, the vibrancy of all her garments, and the delicate mehendi on her hands were all unmatchable without days of preparation.
As someone who’s obsessed with food, I was delighted to discover the cooks who were catering the event. They were on the rooftop of the five-story building, cooking away for hours in an open-air kitchen. What you can’t see here is how easily this woman rolled dough balls into absolutely, perfectly round circles for frying.
Her incredible skill was a pleasure to watch, although it seemed like she and the other cooks were confused (and entertained) that I would rather stare in awe at what they were doing than stay downstairs mingling with the other guests.
One of the liveliest moments of the ceremony, at least the parts we saw, was this bit where the bride and groom throw floral wreaths around each other’s necks while held aloft. (Notice all the photography and videography going on in the background!)
Here, the bride and groom are performing part of the beautiful and long ceremony. We were entranced by watching it, but we learned that many guests show up at whatever point they want to, watch the ceremony for a few minutes, then go eat and leave.
Meanwhile, the bride and groom haven’t eaten at all on the day of the wedding!
This little guest was also one of the most memorable, with her wide eyes and solemn face. I’m continually amazed by how well-behaved kids are in other parts of the world; I would have expected the poor girl to dissolve into wails of boredom within half an hour, but she maintained her composure for several hours during the ceremony.
We happened to be on the roof just as the line of guests bringing gifts showed up.
For me, this sums up our experience of India in a way: kind people, generosity, chaos, traffic, near-crashes, and constant honking.
After the ceremony was over, the remaining guests were invited to take turns sitting in these thrones to have their pictures taken. This is still one of my favorite pictures of me and Gustavo!
And finally, after everything was over, enjoying some dessert!
Thanks for coming along on this little photo-trip through a Bengali wedding in Kolkata, India. I hope you enjoyed it, and that it gave you a little glimpse into how beautiful, colorful, and magical this event was!